Nonameous

The last traces of the sun just sank in Making way for the alluring dark. A long road ahead, hardly that bothers me . There is no sign of the living out here , I can hear my footsteps loud and clear, At every heavy step I take , Down the alley. I can hear me breathing The Gods of Silence screaming in my ears. I wish it would stop, It leaves me distressed, But on I walk, oblivious to everything. Trying. Ah, there it is, the sound of the Christmas carols from the church down the alley. Neither heard them, nor went there, not since they left me. Not since …. Pictures of you, memories of you, ones I could not erase, Clouding inside, But on I walk, oblivious to everything . Trying . It’s getting darker now My legs ache from all the walking, Tired , like I always have been. Noticing an empty bench, I sat. There is still no sign of the living , No Visible lights in houses nearby, No sign of movement, nothing to suggest happy families celebrating the holy ni...

Your eyes, brimming with life. Your lips, soft and red. Your voice, clear as crystal. A true beauty in all sense, this world and out. Such a shame, for you do no good to me alive. And you fight against my dagger, fighting for the life you so crave for, Why? This is your fate, let it happen, my love, let it happe--- I SAID STOP FIGHTING BITCH!! In a flash your throat is slit, and all I see, all you see is your blood dripping down. Watching you struggle like a slaughtered pig choking, gasping for air you don't need, fear spread across your face. Blood dripping from the tip of the euphoric silver, each drop breaking the growing silence, A smile creeping across my face in exhilaration , in growing anticipation, waiting.... Darling, let me show you my love, Let me come inside you. You look so frightened, so distressed, yet you don't oppose me now as I stroke your hair, as I brush my lips against your lips of stone, as I strip you of your clothes. I cannot hold it in anymore. ...

It was 2012 and I was so into League but nowhere close to being good. But a lot changed when I got invited to this type of game mode called the ‘Ranked game’. These ranked games are meant to be more competitive and the result of the games mattered, unlike the regular games that players usually played. So, basically, the first ten ranked games decides how good you are and then puts you in different tiers based on the outcome of these games. Then, you’ll have to win games consecutively to earn ‘Ladder Points’ and climb tiers. I clearly did not know anything about this. Being the kid I was, I thought I could just boss my way through these “noobs” and win games. Turns out that I was the noob. Joke’s on me! These games were far more competitive and gave you that extra added motivation to win games. Even though I was bad, I was one hell of a competitive mother fucker. I used to play 10 games a day and would probably end up winning like two or three games a day, four if I was lucky. Bu...

Being a skinny and under weight kid during the school years and getting pushed around by kids for being scrawny and weak, I didn’t want the same to happen when I entered college. So, I pushed myself and started hitting the gym on a regular basis not to get back at all those bullies who made me feel insecure but because I wanted to know how it felt like to feel superior to who I was. This fear of failure fueled me and shunned my anxiety aside. In a matter of 6 months I started gaining weight and muscle. At the end of my first year I gained 15 kilos . I didn’t allow my determination to fade away and I kept going at it. This made me realize that all this time and effort should mean something and I wanted to show the world the fruits of my labor. And yes, I made it. I made it within the top 10 of a men's physique competition and I cannot put it in words how satisfying that was. The glory, the fame, everything. But most of all, I became someone who I myself respected and look...

"You only live once" doesn’t just mean partying and doing drugs and getting all kinds of high. I mean that part's important too and sure, it's fun. But you only live once also means that you only LIVE once. Like actually LIVE your life, not just passively watch it pass you by. Having people direct it for you like "go to school, go to college, get a job, make money, have a family, raise some kids, live normally and die" sucks. Everybody is directing you to be normal. "JUST EXIST!" is what everybody is screaming at you. That’s fucked up. If you know you only live once, then why in the world would you think being normal is the solution? Where's your will to be weird? I don’t wanna just be normal. I don't want to just exist. I want to be INCREDIBLE. EXTRAORDINARY. I want to sky dive, I want to deep sea dive. I want to meet new people from all over the world and listen to their stories. I want to learn different languages. I wan...

Happiness. How do you feel happiness? All of us interpret happiness in a different way. You might feel happy about a situation where others may not. There is no eternal happiness where everyone feels the same way, only momentary lapses where you either choose to be happy about the moment or not. Happiness is a choice.                                        

I went to a school, a school with boys, strict rules and a lot of girls with poise.                          Coming from an orthodox South Indian family and going to a school full of swagger,                  I was stuck with peer pressure which took me years to measure. Keeping myself unfed, heating my curls to bed, got me nothing but ulcers, acnes and major damages in the end.                                        From loose dad T-shirts to shorts and mini skirts as that was the time where less was more and when orange was not the new black. That time was when my transformation was welcomed like Mia’s from The Princess Diaries. But being deluded with external beauty like any other teen helped.                      ...

                       All those times   I walked through the deserts of time,   unable to quench my thirst    I heard something in those gusty winds and      the sandstorms.   Was That You?   All those times   I sailed across the oceans of failure   helplessly allowing myself to be washed away   I heard something in those waves crashing        against my boat.   Was That You?   All those times   I soared across the sky filled with broken            dreams,   my wings of hope melting into despair,   I heard something in the silence that echoed      in the forlorn night,   Was That You?   Now I'm walking alone   down this road of desolation   in this dark and lonely woods,   thoughts swimming inside me,   Was that t...

Playing League for hours together everyday wasn't so easy to be honest. I had a typical Indian dad who used to blame me for everything that was wrong with the computer and blame the computer for everything that was wrong with me. But I defied my dad and played the game for atleast a couple of hours on weekdays and a minimum of five hours during the weekends. The problems did not just come from one end. My mom wanted me to get good grades and at the same time, did not want me to get addicted to the game. But little did she know that it was too late already! My PC was bad as fuck at that time and hence, the graphics was terrible. I got about 30 frames per second, which later got down to as low as 7 or 8 towards the end of that poor PC's life. I don't really know what aspect of the game got me so into it. I was so bad at the game that I was actually the sole cause for the team's loss in most of the games. One of the main reaons for that was the fact that nobody was th...

I love an adrenaline rush. It’s the most amazing thing and it makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt. The rush I feel when I’m doing something dangerous, is a feeling that cannot be faked. I went bungee jumping in Thailand. Let me walk you through that story. I’m at that place in Thailand, its next to a lake and there’s nobody else except me, my friends and my family. I’m brimming with excitement and my heart is already beating. “Yay, finally, I’ve always wanted to do this” is the only thing running in my head. My friend goes before me and I’m watching from below. I see him make his way up and then jump off. Fuck. I have to do that next. I slowly walk towards the guys who gear you up. He ties the elastic rope around my legs and he’s smiling. He’s talking but I can barely hear him through the thumping of my heart. I just smile politely, laugh nervously and wait for the gearing up to get over. They tie the elastic rope TIGHTLY around my legs. All I had to do...

The ability to switch over to a dimension where I made the "other choice" is something I dream of having all the time. I would be living only the way I want depending on the consequences of each action. If things don't work out the way I want it to, i'd just switch over to where I made the other choice. And once I'm bored of that, i'd switch to the other one and see how it goes anyway. Somewhere between "I want to fly like superman" to "wanting to see what would have happened if I made that other choice" I grew up. -P.R

            I stood among a crowd of people, joyfully cherishing their every moment. Being in a crowded place makes me feel numb because despite being surrounded by smiling faces and happy thoughts, I was alone, apart from the voice in my head. I'd prefer to be in bed, sleeping, forgetting this world. Being surrounded by people that don't care makes me feel isolated because no one truly understands what happens in my mind. It made me realize that I was alone and that in this world you should rely on nobody. But yourself.  When this loneliness fell upon my heart, I felt isolation. Hoping that it will eventually break into restoration. But as I grew older, I realized that this burden has only left me colder. The hope inside of me still persists, longing for the day I start to exist.                                              ...

After being inspired by movie stars and social media influencers for years I decided to give physical exercise a try, my cousin brother’s wedding was three months down the lane and it turned out to be the perfect opportunity to test my discipline. Now the difficult part was to decide which gym, when to workout and will I be able to control my vices. (“You can’t out-exercise a bad diet”).  Knowing that this is not easy I decided to first test myself and started working out at home. I started doing 25 Surya Namaskars everyday after I returned from college. Then after a couple of weeks and countless YouTube videos ( AthleanX  — The Best) I decided to work out at home till December and if I’m able to keep up this new regimen then joining a gym would be a mundane idea. With a little over two months to my brother’s wedding I downloaded a home workout app and started working out for an hour, 5 times a week (alternate cardio days). Soon I started to see results and then it was ...

With my dull white and grey uniform worn, I stood in front of the mirror knowing it was the last time I would be spending time with the same people I had been with for the past 10 years. I was a bird and my school was the nest that gave me another family. Moving out of my nest, leaving all the other birds behind was the loneliest feeling ever but I knew it was necessary as each of us had to find our own path to pursue and fly to.  New people, new places and quite some space to fly around made me believe the world was a big cold cage where every bird was forced to follow fixed routes and destinations that they didn't long for. All the different types of birds in this cage, in which almost all of them believing it was their destiny tried hard to break their shackles and fly free. Some soared, while others didn't. " Your’s is the world and everything that's in it ", my school had taught me, but little did I know that I would get just 42 sheets of paper to ...

Water. People think water is always laid back but it struggles internally for eternity to maintain the facade of laying still. Water is furious. When an external force pushes it, it is doing all that it can to pull itself together and try to stay as calm as possible. There are times when it can't take it anymore and that's okay, every stream has a different threshold that develops over time but it makes sure that it stays until it has found an able body to project itself on to. Be like water.                      

Life is the only gift that keeps on giving. You might not have the slightest clue about what is going to come next and that is what makes it all the more interesting. Life gave me my greatest gift when I was a 14 year old. Yes, Life was kind enough to give it to me when I was I still a little boy. It was just another day of the summer vacation and I saw my brother playing this very interesting game on our pc. Once he was done with it, I was super excited to get on the pc and try out that game and guess what? I sucked at it. It was like ‘Age of Mythology’ but you just control one character at a time. It was a unique experience but I was not into the game at that point. Back in those days, when we did not have our smartphones, we would just sit around, talk and wait till the evening to go out and play. My brother was able to sense that I was bored and asked me to play League of Legends, the game that I had tried out a couple of days back. That’s when it all started and I have ...

          History talks about the greatest of stories that have ever taken place. The stories of history haven’t been defined by the big moments but a series of small moments that would actually seem irrelevant to the story itself. The story of the greatest dictator, Adolf Hitler, would have been unknown if he had been killed by the English soldier, who decided to spare the young boy's life during the First World War. History would have never been such a boring story if it had been told in a better way.           Every person on Earth has a story. To be put in a better way, every person on Earth is a story. Human nature is to fall in love with the flesh and not what’s beyond it. Perhaps, it would all seem better if the human eye had an X-ray machine, a machine that could help one look beyond the flesh, help one look at the stories that each person possess.      ...

In a group of gregarious crowd, stands a girl. Lost, yet completely secure from within. Abnormally apprehensive of her physiognomy, she is immovable on the inside. Away from the cacophony and aristocracy, she finds herself singing her own sweet song in her head. Under all those layers of ruffles and covered up sleeves lies a radiant soul who just wants to be witnessed at the end of the day. Observing people is her hobby. Especially, observing people who plaster their agony with smile and laughter is her obsession because she has always been incapable of doing so, and she sees all of this from a closed corner. The corner where she hides away. - Haritha Godela