Peace in adrenaline.

I love an adrenaline rush. It’s the most amazing thing and it makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt. The rush I feel when I’m doing something dangerous, is a feeling that cannot be faked.

I went bungee jumping in Thailand. Let me walk you through that story.

I’m at that place in Thailand, its next to a lake and there’s nobody else except me, my friends and my family. I’m brimming with excitement and my heart is already beating. “Yay, finally, I’ve always wanted to do this” is the only thing running in my head. My friend goes before me and I’m watching from below. I see him make his way up and then jump off.

Fuck.

I have to do that next.

I slowly walk towards the guys who gear you up. He ties the elastic rope around my legs and he’s smiling. He’s talking but I can barely hear him through the thumping of my heart. I just smile politely, laugh nervously and wait for the gearing up to get over.

They tie the elastic rope TIGHTLY around my legs. All I had to do was stand up, waddle my way to the thing that takes you all the way up.

Crap, I can feel my heart beating faster. I can hear my sister cheering from below but holy crap, I’m so high up.

“Shit.

No, I can do this, don’t freak out.”

I reach the top and the guy instructs me to stand at the very edge.

Wow. That view though. I see the lush, beautiful trees. The sky is clear, the weather is pleasant. I inched forward a little and looked down and there it was. The still, clear lake just lying there and inviting me into its cold, yet welcoming arms. My surroundings go completely quiet and I’m lost for just a second in the beauty of the lake before I’m snapped back into reality by the instructor’s voice. He tells me to move more forward, apparently, I wasn’t close enough to the edge.

There’s a sign right beside my left foot that says “Extra 10 baht if you want instructor to push you”. WHAT?! SHIT.

The instructor says “just count to 3 and jump, don’t think”.

Shit.

He repeats himself, he says “Just count…1…2…”

And I jumped. I didn’t think.

HOLY SHIT IM FLYING. I don’t even feel the rope around my legs.

The wind is in my face, the view is absolutely breathtaking. The water. I see the water coming close to me and all my fear is gone. I LOVE the water. I brace myself. I hit the water, my body goes all the way in till the torso.

That brief second of being in the water was pure…bliss. It almost felt like I dropped into the water in slow motion. The water was cold and felt incredible against my skin and everything was truly quiet for just one second. Ironically, I felt like I could breathe again, I felt alive INSIDE the water.

Guess what? That brief second of bliss quickly became embarrassment as I was pulled out of the water and my shirt came almost fully off. I could hear my friends giggling while I awkwardly pull my shirt back down while dangling upside down on a rope.

There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.

Since the rope is elastic, after I come out of the water I’m dunked in one more time, just my head. Then I just dangle there and I can see the entire scene upside down. I saw things I don’t usually notice when I see the same scene standing straight.

The guys who geared me up extended a stick, I grabbed on to it and I was brought back to solid ground.

I could not stop smiling. It really was impossible for me to stop smiling. The rush of it all was still in my body and I felt light, like I could actually fly. I felt happy.

So, I did the only thing that made sense for me to do at that point.

I turned around, walked straight.

Asked the guy to gear me up and I did it again.